The Love Affairs of Harmony Jones Ch. 10

Hi! I know it's been months since my last update but I was severely suffering from writer's block and only just finished the last half of the chapter over the last few weeks. If you see from when each chapter was posted to the site, you will see that I've been working on this story for about two years. I am so thankful for everyone who has been reading, voting, and commenting. Please keep reading and voting and letting me know what you think.

Harmony has been suffering pretty badly in the last few chapters but believe me, things are about to get more insane as well as more sexy. There's more pain as well as pleasure coming up!

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"It's so good to see you! Oh my God, what are you doing here?" Ava had a barmop over her shoulder, just like my Granny had the night before. She reached for it and swished it across the bar as we talked. Her big blue eyes and her glossy pink lips were smiling.

"I'm in town for a little getaway. I needed to get a bite to eat and this was the best looking place that was open late." I opened a menu but didn't look at it. I was watching Ava. Right when she was about to reply to my statement a couple sat at the bar and she left to take their orders.

I never expected to see her working in a bar. The last time I'd seen her, she was in med school. I wondered what had happened but wasn't sure if it'd be okay to ask.

She wore her black hair in a ponytail, and I could see she had subtle teal streaks in it. She was short and curvy, but with a flat stomach and strong legs and arms. She had always been insecure about her thighs, but I thought they were so sexy, they were soft and thick. She'd had a dimple here and there, but I didn't care. I thought she was sexy in every way. Her jeans flattered her round butt and her Lyla's tee was stretched across her breasts. When she reached up high to grab a liquor bottle, it crept up over her navel. An image of the last time I kissed down her stomach flashed in my mind and I shook it away, blushing. My Ava had always been beautiful.

My Ava. I knew I had to stop thinking about her that way. She'd never really been mine. But strangely I felt so possessive of her. I saw the purple-haired woman Ava'd kissed flitting about among the tables, she didn't look like a waitress. More like a manager. I felt acid rise in my throat. I was jealous. She was almost as slim as me, a little bit taller. She looked to be a little bit older than me, but she was so tan that it might have been premature aging. I wasn't sure. When she came to the bar to grab drinks for a customer, I noticed she had a few visible tattoos, and peridot green eyes. She grinned at me as she passed me and I wondered if she knew who I was.

When Ava finally turned back to me, I gave her my order. A chicken Caesar salad and lime water. "Do you not drink anymore?" she asked.

"No, I do. Maybe too much. But I just had a massage. They said don't drink alcohol for another couple of days." I don't know why I felt I had to explain myself. I knew Ava knew that I talked too much when I was nervous. I could feel years of insecurities (which I had thought were long gone) flooding back into my head.

She put my order in and refilled a couple of beers. "Oh, okay. I'm so glad to see you. It's been a long time."

"I know. I haven't seen you since..." I trailed off. Not knowing what to call it.

She finished it for me. "The thing."

"With the stuff." I looked at my lime water, biting my lips.

"Yeah." Our breakup (which wasn't a breakup) was messy and emotional.

I decided to change the subject. "So, you work here?"

Ava grinned. "I own here! This is my place. And Lyla's."

I nodded. Ava had always wanted to be her own boss and her personality was perfect for a bar atmosphere. "A co-ownership. Cool."

"Well, she's my wife so..."

"You're married?" I was shocked. My Ava was married! "Wait, is the purple-haired woman Lyla?" I felt acid come up and I swallowed it back down. I smiled big to suppress my gag reflex, clenching my fists under the bar.

She grinned and nodded. "Yep. That's her. And we'll have a kid soon. A boy. We're adopting." She walked off to get some food from the back and to check on her other customers. As she did I was left alone, so many thoughts swirling around in my head.

My first ever girlfriend was married to someone beautiful, owned her own business, and was starting a family. Even with my own career success I suddenly felt like a failure. I completely forgot Boyd and the fact that years had passed since the last time I had Ava in my bed, in my arms. Our breakup suddenly seemed like yesterday and I wanted to cry. To throw my stool into the mirror behind the bar. To scream at the top of my lungs and grab Ava and kiss her until my lips hurt. I was mad. I was hurt. I was straining to keep my shit together when she came back with my salad and refilled my water glass.

I smiled at her. "So, you're living the dream then?"

"I am. It's what I always wanted." She blushed. "Lyla and me just fit." She looked up and into my eyes. "Things I'd felt before were real and honest and deep. But what I have with Lyla is more than that. And we are a good team."

I understood what she was trying to tell me. I reached across the bar and took her hand. "I'm really happy for you, Ava. You know I never wanted anything more than for you to be happy."

She put her hand on mine. "I do know." We withdrew our hands, and staying on my side of the bar was tough. My chest hurt. "So what are you up to these days?"

"I'm a freelance model. I'm based in Atlanta. Got a boyfriend but..." I didn't want to say things were rocky with us after hearing about her fabulous family life. "We both work a lot."

She nodded and smiled politely. She blanched ever so slightly at the word 'boyfriend' but didn't touch the subject. "Modeling sounds cool. I guess you're your own boss too then huh?"

"Well, I make my own hours and pick what jobs I do. So I guess so. I have a little website for fans and I sell stuff from that. It's a living." She nodded, I guess she was unsure of what to say. I paused and then my curiosity got the best of me. I plunged in. "So... do you mind if I ask you what happened to med school? And if you're married then... I guess your family knows too right?" Her dad was a homophobic baptist minister who led protests in towns all across Georgia.

"No, its okay to ask... After everything we've been through... Just hang on a sec..." She went to check on her customers again. I ate some more while I waited and watched her. Every time she flashed her smile at a customer I felt a stab deep in my belly. It was a fake smile, but it still reminded of how her face would light up when she was happy. It reminded me of the times when she was smiling because of me.

When she came back she bit her lips. "It's a sucky story and long so I'll just summarize..." She refilled my water glass. "I quit med school in my last year. I got depressed really bad because I was living a lie. I was doing all that for my parents' approval... if you remember." I nodded. "I dropped out and it just about killed my dad. I moved out here and met Lyla..." She stopped and looked at the floor. She looked like she wasn't sure if she should keep going.

"And?"

"Well... Lyla refused to have a relationship with a 'hypocrite', basically. She didn't want to be a secret. So I came out... I didn't want to lose her... and my family disowned me. But I decided 'fuck them'. We got married two years ago in Massachusetts, right after it became legal. Lyla's family loves us. I'm making my own family now." She nodded like 'that's that' and I wanted to leap across the bar and hug her. I had wanted that for her so badly when we'd been together. But unlike Lyla, I'd been a secret, and I'd been happy with it.

"That is so awesome, Ava. I hate that your family did that but I can see that you're much happier."

She just smiled at that and went back to work. She did seem happier. She was practically glowing. I kept catching her sending glances across the room to Lyla. Every time I saw them share a look I felt sicker. I forced myself to eat and act normally. I could not take my eyes off them. They seemed so perfect together. I wondered if me and Boyd seemed like that to outsiders. When we'd dated, Ava and me seemed like a great couple. But now I saw that there was no way our relationship could have come close to what Ava now had with Lyla. Ava had never looked at me like she looked at Lyla.

We did some more light chit chat between her tending to customers, and she left me to eat my food mostly after that. I left my money and a good tip on the bar while she left to replace an empty keg. I didn't want to say goodbye. Again.

When I was walking out the door, Lyla rushed over to hold the door open for me. "Let me get that for you." Her voice was husky and breathless. She'd wanted to beat me to the door.

"Thanks." I kept my head down, hoping she wouldn't see me blushing and trying not to cry or throw up. Hoping she would not see the anger I knew was flashing in my eyes.

"Hey. You're Harmony, right?" She had a soft voice with a Georgian accent.

"Uh..." I stared at my feet, but I stopped walking.

She touched my arm, very gently. "You are. Listen... I just wanted to say, Ava told me about you guys. And I wanted you to know that... well, Ava's so proud... she'd never tell you herself... but she still feels bad about how things ended with ya'll." I looked up at her for just a moment and saw she was biting her bottom lip nervously.

I looked back down. I didn't know what to do with that information. "Oh... kay." She let me go, and I turned my back and kept walking.

I got in my car and drove to the nearest liquor store, then turned back around and drove back to the hotel without going in. I didn't want to ruin the effects of my massage with drinking. It would have been a waste and I didn't want that. Plus I felt bloated after all the fattening foods I'd been eating, I had my shoot with Miguelle D'erin the next day. And on top of that, I'd already tried unsuccessfully to drink Ava away. I had a bad case of brain fog so I rolled the windows down to get some fresh, cold air as I drove back.

I re-parked and headed inside the inn. Sam was coming off desk duty and approached me in his street clothes. He wore jeans and bright green hoodie with sneakers."Back so soon?"

I tucked some of my wild hair behind my ear and I said, "Yep. Just went out to grab dinner."

Sam smiled. "So, you don't wanna take a walk with me do you?" He flashed a gorgeous white smile at me and his glossy brown eyes were so soft, so friendly.

My defenses were down. I couldn't say no. "Yeah, okay." And as soon as I said it I pictured Boyd, at home playing video games by himself. I blocked out my inner voice telling me what a crappy girlfriend I was and told myself I was just going for a walk. And besides, I had my period. Nothing could happen.

We walked around the block, and at first Sam was telling me about the inn, about how long he'd worked there, about his friends and family. I didn't say much, just listened and nodded. I was happy just hearing him speak. We stopped near the trees outside my window and I looked up at the magnolia. One of the buds was starting to open and I pointed it out to Sam.

"I think magnolias are the most beautiful tree there is." I said.

"I see something I think is more beautiful..." Sam looked at me and took my hand.

I couldn't help it. I tried not to, but I laughed. Thank God, Sam did too.

"Oh... no. I'm sorry, that was so cheesy. I've just been talking and talking and trying to think of a good way to tell you... I... uh... I think you're gorgeous."

"No, it's okay. I am bad at this stuff too."

Sam looked at his feet. "I want to get to know you, if that's okay."

I looked at my feet too. "You know, I think I want to get to know you too... but... I have a boyfriend."

Sam turned around, looked at the sky, sighed, and turned around again to face me. "Alright, alright I get it. All white girls think black guys just want to play games..."

I put my hands on his shoulders. He didn't look at me. "No! That's so stupid. No. I really do have a boyfriend. And on top of that... ugh. I had a really bad time at dinner..."

He shrugged my hands off his shoulders. "If you have a boyfriend, then why are you on a trip like this alone?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "My boyfriend paid for this trip. I'm supposed to be relaxing..." I sighed. "I get away by myself every few months."

Sam raised his eyebrows like he was studying me and put his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. I guess he was upset by my rejection and wanted to just be mean because he said, "Or maybe he sends you off somewhere nice so he can cheat on you? To get you out of the way?"

I stepped away from him, turning to walk back to the inn. Over my shoulder I said, "Saying stuff like that isn't going to make me change my mind." Before he could respond, I walked off. He didn't run after me, so I figured he didn't care anymore. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but there was no way anything could happen between me and Sam. Not after what had happened that night with Ava. Not after what had been going on with Boyd. And definitely not on my period.

I got upstairs and flopped on the bed. Too much drama had happened that day. I took off my clothes, texted Miguelle D'erin to confirm the shoot time for the next morning, and then took three Benedryl to make me drowsy enough to sleep.

I ran another bath for myself while I set out all my gear for my shoot with Miguelle. Boyd wanted me to wear my lingerie from Swanderlust in the shoot, plus do some full nude shots. So I prepared a baggie full of tampons, water pills for my period bloating, and set out my beauty kit and hair styling kit. I laid out my clothes to wear to the shoot, then packed my lingerie, shoes, and a robe.

While focused on preparing for my shoot, I still thought of Ava the whole time. Images flashing in my mind, barely able to control what I saw and felt. Lyla's smile at Ava, Ava swatting Lyla's butt. Ava in my bed. Ava in a bikini on the beach, a nipple slip when a wave hit her, brushing sand off her thigh with my fingertips. Her mouth on mine. Her skin under my palms. Her taste. Her scent. Her cries of pleasure. Her frown when she talked about her dad. Her sleepy voice. Her hair in my fist in a moment of passion. Her eyes, bluer than ever, when she said we were over. When she said we couldn't see each other anymore.

My ex-boyfriend turned friend-with-benefits, Tad, had introduced us. He'd been pretending to be her boyfriend for over two years as a favor to his cousin, Shelby, who had been Ava's girlfriend. Not many people are nice enough to do that, but Tad was very close to Shelby and would do anything for her. She was like a sister to him. Tad would pick up Ava from her parents' house, pretending to be her boyfriend. Then drive her back to his house to meet Shelby. Ava was a lesbian but Shelby was bisexual. Shelby left Ava for a guy and Ava hadn't gotten over it.

Tad was still going over to Ava's to pick her up. After their time together pretending to be a couple, they'd become good friends and he felt sorry for her. He said that the two of them played video games or watched movies, and Ava would talk endlessly about Shelby. He introduced us, knowing I was bisexual, as a way to help Ava get over Shelby. It ended my relationship with Tad as his bene-friend, but it was worth it to be with Ava.

Ava and Tad staged a breakup for her parents' sake, because Tad no longer wanted to drive Ava around if she was with me. Ava told her parents that she and I were classmates. They thought we were just friends. I'd pick her up, we'd say we were heading out to go shopping or see a movie or study. Twenty minutes later we'd be in my bed. I moved out of my parents' house a month after I started seeing Ava. We had gotten tired of needing to be quiet. I had a crappy apartment in a horrible part of town that I could barely afford. I didn't care.

Sometimes we'd see a movie or shop. Sometimes we'd go to a restaurant or get coffee. We'd go out and be seen as friends. But it was so hard not to hold her hand, put my arm around her, kiss her cheek. I could tell she wanted to do that stuff too. So we'd buy groceries and take them back to my itty bitty crappy apartment, and make our own food. We'd re-watch my meager dvd collection over and over, play board games. But mostly we made love. Mostly, we fucked.

It would start in my car. She'd put her hands up my skirt or down my pants before I could get a mile away from her driveway. We'd rush inside. Ava would push all the bedclothes off the bed, push me down and we'd start stripping. She always wanted to be first. I always wanted her to be first. We never used toys together. It was just us. Just us.

When we were both finally satisfied, bodies humming and limbs tingling, Ava would crawl to the end of the bed and bend down with her naked ass in the air. She'd look at me from behind, to make sure I was watching, and scoop the blankets back up on the bed. And even though I thought I was too tired to move, I'd find a way to please her one more time before she fell asleep in my arms.

But six months later, Shelby wanted Ava back. I had always driven over to her house to pick her up. But for the first time ever, Ava drove to my apartment. I knew something was wrong. She told me Shelby had come back, that she had never gotten over her. That she was in love.

In the six months that I'd been with Ava she never called me her girlfriend, never said she loved me. I just assumed we didn't have to say it. I assumed we were a couple. I assumed she was only with me that whole time. She was my first female partner, I had no idea what I was supposed to do or feel. I just knew I was happy and I felt great. We never had fights, so I always assumed that Ava was as happy with me as I was with her. And when I found out I'd been wrong, it was like my entire reality had been a lie.

I went over it in my head dozens of times trying to figure out what went wrong. I finally realized she'd still been in love with Shelby. She'd been using me as a rebound. I eventually moved on. I secretly dated other girls. Openly dated other guys.

I hadn't talked to Tad or Ava since then.

All of this went through my mind in only one-sixth of the time it takes to tell it. I had packed and double checked my packing. After that was done, I eased into the bath to soak, but I couldn't relax. I grabbed my phone and called Alissa. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

Just hearing her voice was such a comfort. "Hey, 'Lissa" I could barely say her name.

"Oh shit, what happened?"

"Wait, I'm not bothering you am I?" I just realized it was late and Alissa probably had class the next day.

"Nope. Just working on some beading. Tell me what's going on." I heard Alissa shifting around, I guess she was settling in to get comfy.

I swatted the water in the tub angrily, splashing the bathmat."I just saw Ava. She lives here in Savannah."

"Uh oh." I could tell Alissa was waiting for me to say more.

"She's married." Alissa said nothing. "To a woman. Duh." Still nothing. "They're adopting a baby together." I held my breath.

"Oh, honey..." she breathed. And then I started bawling. I kept hearing Alissa's beads rattling in their container. She was sewing quietly while I cried. She waited until I was done to speak. "Harmony, you know its been like, five years..."

"I know..."

I heard the beads rattling and then whatever container they were in got set down on a hard surface (her sewing table?) with a thunk. "I'm gonna tell you something you won't like but I need you to see I'm saying it as a friend."